The Bodacious Belgrade Blog

September 5, 2008

Don’t Be Tellin Me How To Raise My Damn Baby!

Filed under: Uncategorized — bunitingi @ 5:07 pm
Tags: , ,

What you wan be stickin’ your bitch ass nose in my baby’s business for? Get yer own damn baby.

And don’t you be tellin’ me what to feed it. Damn, that woman at the clinic, i don’t know WHAT her problem is, but she ALWAYS HElla up in my shit! Who she think she is? She don’t know me! I swear, next time she gets all up in my baby’s business i WILL slap herself serious upside the head.

I ain’t feedin’ my baby NOTHIN he don’t like. Shit, if he didn’t like Cheetos i wouldn’t give him none. But he likes that shit. He goes to town on that. So tell me, why i gotta treat my baby like a second class sitisan? Me and Billy Ray be sittin’ on the couch eatin’ all them yummy snacks, but my baby can’t even be havin none? You think i’m gonna be one of those mommas who just ignorin her baby and won’t give him shit? Fuck that. My baby gonna have everything he ever wants, cause i luv him so much.

And damn, bitch, i know you can’t be givin yoour baby no alcohol. I ain’t sayin when billy ray and his buddies and me be doin’ shots i’m a give the baby shots too. What you think i’m stupid? You better be WATchin how you talk to ME..

Hell no. I barely give him just a tiny little beer, which is reel low in alcohol, nothin even close to vodka or wild turkey or nothin. i just slip a little in his bottle cause then he just goes strate to sleep and shuts the fuck up fer just a few hours. Damn, i love him and all, but he is ALLways on my damn case. He always screamin and cryin and sometime he screams and i ain’t even dropped him or nothin!

You want me to be a good mom? Then you better let me get a few hours peese every now and then. Damn. i don’t think you understand, i get some peese that makes me a way better momma for when he wakes up again. Shit, take a nap, have a few, smoke a fatty, you know, unwind a bit…

‘Cause he wakes up at like 5Am! hell, most times i just be wantin to go sleep round then. Billy Ray be such a good daddy figure (even though he aint’ even the daddy!) He always be bringing me rails and shit so i’s can wake up and feed my baby.

I love him so much… that is what you just do not understand, You do not, can not appreciate the love a momma has for her baby. I know why’s you so jealous. Cause hell, you so ugly you probably ain;’t even got no man much less no baby who just gonna love you and keep you company and an everyone always be tellin you how great you and your baby are, and when your baby grow up he can get real rich and take care of his momma so i ain’t have to work no shitty jobs no more.

Hell, he can have a trailer next to mine and come hang out with Billy Ray and me whenever he want. An’ he’ll have a girfriend and we’ll be real close, and i can give her all kinds of girl advice, like on how men will ALLwys swear they gonna pull out but then once they all up in you they never do and you canNOT trust them sumbitches. But we all gonna be like one big happy famly… I swear, it’s just such a beautiful thought i’m startin to cry….. here, hold up…. oh shit….

Anyway, THAT’S why all these uptight bitches be gettin on my case and all jealous that they don’t got no baby of there own cause it’s just the most wonerful thing in the whole damn world.

Oh snap! I gotta go. Billy Ray be tryin to feed my baby pepsi. Damn that billy ray, how many times i gotta tell him my baby ONLY drink coke.


1 Comment »

  1. Kept some mental souvenirs from the homeland, I see. Either that or Belgrade vernacular is not what I might have expected.

    Comment by matthew — September 5, 2008 @ 10:13 pm | Reply

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