The Bodacious Belgrade Blog

November 23, 2008

One Titty To Rule Them

Filed under: Uncategorized — bunitingi @ 6:37 pm
Tags: , , ,

Why aren’t women the undisputed overlords of the Earth?

I mean let’s face it, while incredible strides in gender equality have been made in the past 100 years, it’s still a man’s world. How is this possible when women have The Titty?

I am a happy Daddy. I love my little boy and love to hold him and sing to him and cuddle him and rock him and talk to him, all the things a Daddy can do to love his little baby. Including lots of diaper changing.

But, at the end of the day, i canNOT compete with The Titty.

Seriously. There is no sing and dance routine i will ever be able to learn that can trump The Titty. Baby lovse Titty above all else in this world thus far, and this shows no signs of changing anytime soon.

So i gets me thinking. What do babies love most? Titty.

What do grown men love most? Titty.

“They that hold access to the most desired resource control the world.”

So…. babies love titty, men who dominate the patriarchal power structure love titty, why aren’t women overlords? I mean who deosn’t love titty that can be a threat?

Gay men? Actually, i know quite a few gay guys who love to squoosh titties. They don’t want to take it home and shtoop it, but they certainly love it. Still, okay, they don’t love it with quite the same zest as straight guys. This is true. They can live without it, as where us straight guys can most definitely NOT.

But in case you haven’t noticed, gay men do not exactly make up the ruling elite.

Which leaves boy between the ages of say 6 and 12, who basically don’t care a whiff about titty. Once again, not the movers and the shakers.

So how is it possible that the world came to be patriarchal? Someone mentioned ot me once that it;s because men have a lust for power that women don’t, but it is my VAST experience that this is SO not true. There are probably a million sci-fi books out there based around the concept that the entire world/galaxy is in desperate desire for water/elonium P-47 space modulators/etc and this resource is carefully controlled by some small race of super elite Zoraphians or somesuch.

Well, it seems to me that Titty is the great resource  and women, who hold it, are the Zoraphians. So once again, is there a Sauronette somewhere, biding her time, carefully searching high and low for The One Titty To Rule Them All?

She’d have MY baby lined up at the gates of Mordor, that’s for sure.

P.S i am sleep deprived, so bear with be, but has anyone actaully named their baby Frodo?

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2 Comments »

  1. According to some, patriarchy is the story of (some) men’s anger about not having the Titty or the Baby Making Superpower, and deciding to make it impossible for women to use them without their permission.

    Someday, Mom will say to him “NO MORE TITTY, KID.” And that’s when you swoop in and get to be Superman, and introduce him to chocolate. Your day will come!

    Comment by emjaybee — November 23, 2008 @ 9:54 pm | Reply

  2. I don’t know how you can watch a women go through pregnancy and labor and be angry about not having the Baby Making Superpower. Personally, in month 7 i used to sit out on the porch at night with a liter of beer and an ashtray next to me and offer psalms of praise that i didn’t have the baby making superpower.

    Hell, after all that, LET her have the The Titty Of Power. Jebus, i mean she finally catches a break! (although, for both parents, that first moment when they put the brand new newborn in her arms makes every single second of everything ever, worth it.)

    Comment by bunitingi — November 23, 2008 @ 10:16 pm | Reply


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