The Bodacious Belgrade Blog

November 25, 2008

Baby Torture

Filed under: Uncategorized — bunitingi @ 12:08 am
Tags: , ,

Yaaaaawwwnnn. Oh, i awake. Maybe i sleep more. zzzzzzz. no i awake again. Maybe i be awake.

I no feel so good. I no comfortable. (fidgets and fusses) no. no comfortable.

Should i cry? mmm. let me decide. (makes scrunchy face) aaah…. aaaaaAAhhh. AAAhh….. no. no cry now.

Am i hungry? Mmmm, me like titty.

No, no am hungry. Cannot decide. But…. just….. no comfortable….

Oh, looky, here comes the daddy. Daddy pick me up… WOAH!

Okay, daddy hold me now. Mmm. This pretty good. Me like. Oh, he walking. Me love when he holds me and walks. Maybe he sing?

There he goes. This is nice. Why do all his songs have lyrics revolving around the words “booshy”, “squooshy” and “tooshy”? Do all songs only have these lyrics?

This nice. Me can sleep more. Mmmmmm

Oh, we going in other room. Okay. Me like.

Wait. Why the daddy lay me down? Me no want to lay down. Me was liking the walk/hold baby thing.

Wait, why he tug at my little pants? Oh no. OH NO. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO…. IS he going to…..

NOOOOOOOOOO HE GOING TO CHANGE MYDIAPER!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

ME HATE WHEN THEY CHANGE DIAPER!!!! OH DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN THEY’RE GOING TO TAKE MY DIAPER OFF!!!

OH THE INDIGNITY!!!! THE TORMENT!!!AH JEEZ HE WIPING MY BOTTOM WITH THE WARM WET CLOTH!!!! AAAAAAAAAA I HATE THE WIPING OF ME LITTLE BOTTOM.

OH GOD WHEN WILL THIS END???? OH THE TORMENT!!!! THE INHUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOO WOAH IS ME!!!1

NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, NOT THE CHAMOMILE SOOTHING LOTION ON MY BUTT!!! AAAAAAAHHHH!!!! OH GOD ANYTHING BUT THE CHAMOMILE SOOTHING LOTION!!!! WHEN WILL THIS END???!!!??? IS THERE NO MERCY FOR A LITTLE BABY?!?!

oh God…. oh God… they’re taking out…. OOOOOOH GOD IN HEAVEN THEY’RE GOING TO PUT THE SOFT DRY DIAPER ON ME!!!! WHY????????????????????????????? WHY??????????????????????????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH IT NEVER ENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!

WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh the daddy is picking me up again. Mm. Oh. This is nice.

Mmmm. Oooooooo. Baby likes.

I sleep now.

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2 Comments »

  1. Are you swaddling?

    And Nathan still does this. THREE YEARS LATER. But not all the time.

    Alternately, you could try Elimination Communication, where you watch for the baby to tense up and then hold them over the toilet and make a “ssss ssss sss” noise while they go. Then when they hit 18 months and can sit on the potty themselves, you just make the noise and they are potty trained. No diapers.

    Yeah, I wasn’t really up for that with Nathan.

    Comment by emjaybee — November 25, 2008 @ 12:43 am | Reply

  2. Otherwise known as the Brown Carpet Method…

    Comment by matthew — November 25, 2008 @ 12:51 am | Reply


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